<- welcome to my blog

i wanted an excuse to update this website more often
so.. blog!
expect me to just kinda put anything on here whenever i remember: selfies, feelings, dreams, everything!



i visited my girlfriend! i got home two days ago but i was TIRED from the plane ride and also MALNOURISHED from the stores being closed so i didnt write any blog post about it yet! but here it is!!!

Picture of me and my girlfriend being cute and leaning against each other
picture of me and gf being cute :)

visiting my girlfriend was really nice! we mostly just hung out in faer room and cuddled non-stop tbh,, but it was RLY NICE

i also decided during the trip that i'll move to faer in germany as soon as its possible for me to do that,,,

so overall! pretty good trip!

we also had to begrudgingly leave faer house and stop cuddling sometimes bc fae had university while i visited! so i had to come with faer to university

but it was p nice!! i got to meet one of faer friends and they seemed v nice! (even tho i was so scared of them cuz i didnt want them to hate me(⌒_⌒;))

me and my gf also went for a long walk the final day before i had to go home!

i took lots of pictures on the walk that u can see on my photography page! the walk was really nice :)

portrait of my girlfriend smiling and being cute
zoe is cute

we also made food together a bunch of times it was p cool

also! i cleaned my kitchen and it has improved my life tenfold. i feel like a
person still a tiger tho

my kitchen was uncleaned for like several months except for like small miniscule bits of cleaning i managed to muster at random.

but yesterday i did it! i cleaned my kitchen fully!!! and now everything feels so much nicer.

so thats pretty cool


i want big fluffy ears and paws so baaad,,,,,

thats the mood lately

i went to
floridanot the american one
a couple of days ago and took a few photographs.

it wasnt the prettiest place so i didnt take many pictures, but there were a few i was kinda happy with.

i want to createee so baddd,,,, i want to make art and games and stuff but it is HARDD,

i tried to draw kim kitsuragi recently but i just couldnt do it.

i had like! A MOMENT,, where i could draw without feeling horrible!!!! but im starting to think it was a fluke, (or that maybe i was only really ok with the drawing because it was of harrier du bois and a fucked up drawing of that guy is a normal drawing of that guy)

but likeee

i just wanna be fine with making art thats kinda bad and rough around the edges,, as long as its MY CREATION that i get to point to and say LOOK!!! I MADE THIS THING!!!!!!

but i just CANT. DO IT.

i put my little pen to my little drawing tablet or
my little fingeri wish it was a BIG CLAW
to my little laptop touchpad and i feel like every movement i do is wrong and for every line i draw ive made an irredeemable mistake until it builds up so much that i just have to delete the whole thing because i cant show this to people i cant even look at it myself

anyways. i wish i could draw a fursona for myself. it would fix me.


oh boy its been ALMOST A MONTH since i last updated this!!!!
that was a close one!if i take longer than a month there ARE assassins outside my home that will not hesitate.

the day kinda just started (it is 10:00) but its a GOOD DAY.

my sleep schedule has been SUPER fucked lately. but i FINALLY got some got damn sleep at a reasonable hour yesterday. IT WAS SO NICE

before last night i was falling asleep at like!! 10:00 and waking up at like 18:00. that does things to you...

so far today i've not done much but i did finally take out the trash and go to the store!

i forgot the store opens late on saturdays so i was there like one and a half hours too early but i took the opportunity to go for a walk until the store opens.

the mountains around me looked soo pretty the way the sun was hitting them but i didnt have my camera with me to take a pic :(

but! i did have my flip phone (i was listening to some
rly good musicok i was gonna make this link to the album cognitive dissonance by the fifth side but i cant find it anywhere online?? so idk. just know ur missing out on some real good music cuz the fifth side is sooo good.
on it)

so u get flip phone pics of the pretty mountain lol

picture of a distant mountain with the sun shining on its top half. there are dead winter trees close on the sides of the picture and a small road going towards the mountain with buildings on each side. another picture of the same mountain, taken by a large road.

i am just so overall happy today :))

it feels like today is gonna be such a good day


im still using dvorak! i like it :)

i still cant type that fast but its at acceptable levels now, i think. like im around 40 wpm which isnt an impressive number but its fast enough that i dont think others have to get bored waiting for me to finish

i promised i would mention some things i like abt it once im fast enough so uhhh! here are some things:

wrist less ow¹

the keys are laid out so that when you type words each letter will often alternate between the hands, which feels rly rhythmic and fun

symbols are more easily available, numbers require u to hold shift (this is nice because i use symbols more often than numbers. not that it makes that much of a difference, but i like it)

the keys are also laid out so that in the occasional cases where u type several letters in a row with the same hand, ull usually do a little drum from the outside and in. does that make sense? dont care

¹ i have to keep using it to know for sure that its actually helping my wrist. my wrists like to hurt randomly and itd be cool if this made that stop happening but theres no way to be sure until ive used it for like a year

in other much more important news!!! today is a v special day!!!!! its me and my girlfriend's 2 year anniversary!

two years ago i told faer i dreamt fae called me faer girlfriend and two years ago fae told me fae was literally already doing that because it was so fucking obvious we were dating already and the only one who didnt know was me nueothoeo

anyways im so lucky that fae isnt as big of a mess as i am and im so so lucky i get to spend my life with faer

fae is literally the love of my life. my everything. center of the universe

someday we will celebrate like our fuckign,,, 90 year anniversary together. and im so excited for it. and for every moment that leads to it, and every moment after

also in less important news [is it even news?]

nothing is happening at uni! there is literally nothing going on over there! were learning abt critically acclaimed boardgame monopoly or something. i hate uni lectures so much

officially announcing my intention to just never watch another lecture. ill just like fuckign. read abt the things instead. much easier than understanding wtf these lecturer people are doing


ive found a new way to be quirky about my computer usage! im switching to programmer dvorak!!

im typing really slowly and it feels like learning a new language, but its honestly really fun to use

on qwerty touch typing always felt super awkward and unintuitive, but on dvorak all the motions are just like nice and fun!

im gonna write a longer entry about how much i like dvorak later when i can type faster, right now it would take too long
eotueonuho dvorak keysmash

im definitely obsessed tho its just so fun to type with!!!



the test was a success! now i can put the selfies i took today here :3

trans girl wearing red flannel taking a mirror selfie with a big mirrorless camera
i took them with this
fancy new camera panasonic lumix gx8
i got recently. at first i was just looking into simple point-and-shoots because my flip phone's camera wasnt good enough to take selfies with

but then i kinda went down a big rabbit hole about camera equipment and stuff. and i always wanted to get more into photography!

soo i found this really good used mirrorless camera + lens for around €200-300¹. and im happy with it! im excited to take some more pictures with it!!

probably gonna add like. a photography section to /made and put photos i take there.

¹it cost that but then i had to pay like another €150 becuase of tolls. eugh. still happy with the camera tho :)